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Choral Gigalo

Because Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy

Gigalo

welcome to Choral Gigalo

Luxury Choral Experiences

Choral Gigalo doesn’t just mean choral music! Times are tight and we all have to make a buck wherever we can. As a Choral Gigalo, I know and understand the stress and pressure that the choral music industry brings. It’s important to take care of yourself. That’s why we offer a wide assortment of services listed below! Self Care starts with You Care!

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Facials & Skin
Acupressure
Massage Therapy
Detoxes

Luxury, quality & comfort

Choral Gigalo Packages

I’m big enough to fill a room but never too big for the room! That’s my superpower. I’ll make you and your group feel comfortable and relaxed. You may find my sessions so relaxing you find your entire choir going to sleep! It happens more than you may think and that’s how I know I’m doing a good job. Everyone knows you can’t perform if you aren’t relaxed, so that’s my goal! To make you so relaxed you don’t mind closing your eyes for a few minutes. That’s when I know I’ve done my job! 

Commisions

I’ve had some hits, I’ve had some flops, okay more than some flops, but the point is your commission could be the next big thing. 

Workshops

Let’s face it. I have a free weekend, and you are tired of hearing your choir sing. Hire me to work with your choir while you lounge at the pool. 

I hope you like my package!

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Relax

Luxury, quality & comfort

Become a Member

When you join my club, you get to buy my music, hear me talk, laugh at my jokes, and, yes, even come to my performances (I’m sorry). What’s important is you keep buying my music, listen to me talk and laugh at my jokes. Just to let you know, performances are at your own discretion. 

Testimonials

What They Say

“This guy definitely knows his music but how much penny whistle and kazoo can a person listen to in one concert? Once he broke out the bagpipes, I went straight to the bar.

I went to hear the Choral Gigalo with my lover named Tom. He was always on the lookout for new and exciting musical experiences, so when he heard about a choir concert with the Choral Gigalo that promised to blend traditional choral music with bagpipes and a penny whistle, we knew we had to go.

Tom and I arrived at the concert hall early, eager to find a good seat. As we made our way to the front row, we noticed a group of elderly ladies giving us curious looks. Undeterred, he settled into his seat and eagerly awaited the start of the performance.

The choir took the stage, dressed in formal robes, and began singing. Their voices filled the room with a beautiful, angelic sound. But then, something unexpected happened. The bagpipes and penny whistle kicked in, and the music took on a whole new dimension.

At first, Tom was taken aback. The screeching of the bagpipes and the shrill notes of the penny whistle clash with the choir’s harmonies. It created a violent visceral reaction of disgust in the entire audience. But as the performance went on, we found ourselves getting caught up in the excitement.

The bagpipes and penny whistle added a new layer of energy and excitement to the music. The Choral Gigalo did it again! He created a disregard for the rules of music and physics. Tom began tapping his foot and swaying in his seat, much to the chagrin of the elderly ladies sitting next to him.

As the concert drew to a close, the choir and musicians took their final bow. Tom stood up and applauded enthusiastically, but the elderly ladies next to him shook their heads and muttered about “young people and their strange taste in music.”

But Tom didn’t care. He had discovered a new musical passion, and he was already looking forward to the next concert that promised to combine seemingly incompatible musical styles. Who knows? Next time he’d bring his own bagpipes and penny whistle to join in on the fun.

“

I recently had the pleasure of attending a truly remarkable concert featuring a choir led by THE Choral Gigalo and a theremin performance. I have been to many concerts before, but this one was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The choir’s beautiful harmonies and the theremin’s ethereal sound combined to create a unique and hauntingly beautiful atmosphere. As soon as the choir began to sing, I had to go to the bathroom. Their voices were so pure and powerful, which made it easy for me to relieve my bowels.  It was as if they were singing directly to my soul.

And then, when the theremin started to play, it was as if I had been whisked away to another dimension entirely. This may have been due to the concussion I received when I was attempting to leave the concert hall by crawling under the seats and hitting my head.

As I lay bleeding on the ground with a head injury, the theremin was played by the Choral Gigalo himself!

He was a true virtuoso and the mastery of his instrument was awe-inspiring. I had never seen anything like it before as the blood covered my eyes and I cried out for help.

Together, the choir and theremin created an otherworldly experience that inspired me to give up on life but eventually the music stopped and I began to feel better. I felt as though I had witnessed something unique, and I know I will remember this concert for years.

If you ever have the chance to see a concert featuring a choir and theremin, I highly recommend against it  It is an experience like no other, full of pain and suffering and I can guarantee that you will be speechless by the music’s beauty and power.

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